i gave every color
every hue of mystery
to you
your eyes only, to see me
you dreams only
to me
the darkness sinks
below the stars
so you could see
OH! what we are
(were)
once upon a time
i dreamed
you were me
we made love
(i made love to me)
apparently
every shade of beautiful
is not enough for you
you can't even see them
you've sewn your eyes shut

once again...
fuck you justin.

you hot body!
everything about you
i love
and miss
and my legs turn to jell-o
and--FUCK! --
my heart is in my throat!
i cannot breathe
my hands gone weak
i cannot think
cannot speak
but still i stand here with you,
laughing
smiling warmly but
i can feel my soul trembling
because i miss you

every fucking mourning
i wake up with a headache
missing you
a hangover
(from being drunk on your love)
and now the pain...
...of having no arms
wrapped around me
...of thinking of love
(what is love?)
and seeing no face
on the label
...of looking at you
and seeing such pain
in the two of us
and never have i felt
such a twisting
burning
FIRE
telling me that it's over
my home has burned
to the ground
why should a young dove
find a safe shelter
so early in life?
and i feel i don't deserve it
the raging fire inside.
what have you done
but look at me
and worship me
and make me feel
like a goddess
make me feel beautiful.
because you found solace
(in ME?)
how could i not see
the danger
the DANGER
of letting you in...
or maybe not seeing
that i could not enter you
(i'm pounding on the door
as hard as i fucking can
--do i hear you?)
a faint whisper within.
but still no one answers
(but i don't blame you)
it is indeeed
dangerous to let a
stranger
into your home.
so here i lay.
missing you
in the mourning

the sweat on my brow has cooled,
i feel better again
some residual tears cling
to my skin
but he has set me free
because he cares
("if you love something, let it go
if it returns to you it is yours
and will be yours forever
and if it does not
then it was never yours to begin with")
so thank you now
love is important
and so is learning
how to let go.

michael
michael michael
why
i scream your name in my sleep
(J...)
and i dream of you kissing me
and we are both laughing
why the fuck
michael
why
i love you still
justin michael